“This is not for me”

We are all storytellers, but not for an honest audience. Let’s be truly transparent with ourselves for a moment and recognize the reality that sometimes, our truth is not the truth.

We lie.

Our view of the world is filtered through our unique lens of perspective and colored with our values, our identity, and personal experience. We are the very architects of our own narrative. These stories we tell ourselves are of our very own design.

How many times have we stood with our toes pointedly within the lines, never breaching the barrier of facing what’s right front of us? Proactively avoiding those opportunities ahead and robbing ourselves of our own potential — we stop before we even get started.

We tell a story of incompetence, of fear, of inadequacy, of uncertainty.

We’re just out here trying to survive. We can’t stand up and say yes to this.

“This is not for me.”

Maybe you truly weren’t ready. Maybe you were scared to take that leap of faith and dive all in. Maybe you didn’t recognize the window of favorable circumstances before you missed your chance. Maybe the timing wasn’t right. Maybe it was, but you didn’t even know it. Maybe you just didn’t know how to begin. Maybe the stars didn’t align and your horoscope didn’t forecast this moment.

Regardless of the reason, you had a reason.

We all do. We always do.

At the end of the day, there was a moment where you caught a glimpse of the potential that could be a part of your story, and you said no.

You boldly stepped in and…

Declined.

You couldn’t place the bet. You didn’t believe that you could win.

After all, we know ourselves enough to know when to say no, right?

& this is where we advance from a storyteller to a fortuneteller. That story that we told ourselves became true. We didn’t win. We knew we wouldn’t.

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Early in my career, I found myself with an opportunity to apply to a position I didn’t think I was ready for. I didn’t even take one-half a millisecond to even consider it.

I didn’t have the background. I didn’t have the experience. I absolutely knew with certainty that there were so many others who could capably fill this role. I just wasn’t one of them. I was tasked by the Board to find a replacement for the role. I completely counted myself out. Not even in the cards for me; one day, but not now.

I developed thoughtful assessments and conducted interviews. I mapped out a comprehensive training strategy to streamline onboarding and assure our selected candidate would be equipped with all of the tools for success. I knew exactly what our team needed for this leadership position. There were so many opportunities here to serve the team in such a way that this organization had never before accomplished. I painted a strategy surrounding this, committed to making this happen. It just had to happen, our team deserved nothing short of the very best that we could find. It just wasn’t me.

At least, this is what I told myself. I still had so much to learn. I still had so much work to do to prepare myself for such an opportunity. Reporting to a Board directly and overseeing Board governance? Leading the entire team? Holding the highest employed position within the organization? That was just absolutely horrifying. If ridiculous was ever used as an adjective to describe a working professional, it would be me in that position.

We had finally narrowed our search down to two absolutely amazing candidates for Board consideration when I realized that I was standing in my own way. I was actively serving in this position on an interim basis, and was getting really great feedback from the team.

Things were getting…

better.

We were making…

progress.

With my 5 seconds of courage, I put my hat in the ring and placed all of my cards on the table. I’d never be ready. I’d never be good enough. I would, however, never stop learning, aspiring, and growing: not just myself, but others. I decided then, that I would create a team of leaders and really do the work to make things happen here, if they said yes. I just had to stop saying no first.

This was not for me, until I decided that it was.

My entire life changed as a result of the decision to change my own mind. They chose me.

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Is this where you are right now? What are you shying away from?

What are you designing for yourself as the architect of your path forward? How do you know what’s truly not for you? What if you are standing in your own way to something incomprehensibly great?

What will be the moment when it will all change for you?

Transformative changes often begin with being honest with yourself. Sometimes your truth is not the truth. Sometimes the story you are telling yourself needs some serious review and revision.

Why not you?